sleepless

so, I have been up for the last hour and 15 min having contractions anywhere between 5 and 9 minutes...more than that is a restless mind..(is this the big day,is it not? i just want to fall asleep just in case it's not but my body wont' let me) The contractions are not fun but not horrible.. and I wish I only KNEW if this was labor or not. I know of women who last weeks with braxton hicks like this. I'm just waiting to see if the pain begins to intensify-which oddly I'm a little anxious for, but I know I won't be once I'm there (if I even get there today).

Life has been good. John was out of town for a week on a missions trip in Jamaica. Blessed to have a husband who loves God and desires to Share the gospel of Jesus with others. We sure missed him while he was gone though.

Hayden is a "busy" girl. ALWAYS on the go. She has become better as listening to us. She has become even more "lovey" in her words. I.e. she will randomly say "mom, love you" or "mom, miss you." the funny one are when she out of nowhere says " sorry mom" in this cute littel voice as if she is not really sure what she is sorry about (and most the time doesn't even make eye contact when she says it). It's cute. We love her so much.

It's kinda scary knowing we are adding another to the mix. I know most parents go through this. Will I have enough love to go around? Will my first child feel unloved or not given enough attention to? But I know (having lots of bro's and sis' myself) that we all get past it and having sibling is one of the best blessings in life-thus we are happy and excited to give that experience to Hayden.

It's been a while

So, it' s been a long while since I posted last. But LOTS has taken place.
Hayden is growing SO much. I cry whenever I hear that song (country of course :-)) that says "It won't be like this for long." AAGGHH.. hits right to the heart of a parent. I think mother's in particular ;-) She is a little girl, a toddler yes, but not a "baby" any more. When did that happen?! She is potty training, which is going pretty well, but we have our "accidents"-taking off her diaper and "going" on the floor. She is a joy in our lives and we thank God for her every day.
She has learned SO many words in the past 3 weeks, or more so, has learned to say them. "mickey", "boot", "happy," and So many more that seem to come out of nowhere. She's a smart little one.
As far as pregnancy goes, its been great. I'm anxious to meet this little girl who kicks me all the time. I can't help but wonder what she will look like? I mean, we already have a little girl, so how will this one be different?What will her temperment be like? What will labor be like with her? How will Hayden respond to having a little sister who takes up much of mommy's time?
Our family is about to become a family of 4!!!! Crazy! I'm still a little nervous about getting sleep after she is born. I mean after one is rough, but when they nurse at 6am and go back to sleep until 8 or 9 it's great. But now with two, and hayden getting up by 7am, I HAVE to be up, no matter what my night the night before looked like with the baby! Scary? I think the word sleep deprived will gain new meaning?
I'm learning a lot and growing deeper in my walk with God. He's teaching me, as he has many time before-but i'm finally "getting it", all the good he wants for me. He is a king with abundant love and blessings to give and wants to give it to me. I love Him for loving me. Every week when I take Hayden down to Sunday School there is hand drawn mural of Jesus embracing this little child ( like a mother who is holding her child that she has not seen all day- full of love and never wanting to let go of that child). When I see that picture each time I put myself in that picture with His arms around me, loving me as his own child. It's precious to me. You can't outgrow being a child of God. God is teaching me and molding me right now. I"m learning to be quick to listen and slow to speak and slow to anger. It's for sure a battle, but it's exciting to change for the glory of God.
Marriage is good. John and I have had a few heart to hearts these past few months, discussing changes to be made in our marriage. It's good to recognize things that can become a wall between you, and as John and I say "kick a brick," so that wall doesn't build. I'm excited to step into bringing a new baby home with him again. That was for sure a magical time.