I spent the hour drive home from a photo shoot last week processing that my daughter was ending her first year in school, Kinder to be exact. To state the obvious, it comes as bittersweet: bitter- they ain't lying when they say they grow too fast , sweet- to see the growth that has taken place in one solid year in such a smart and beautiful young girl. I was reflecting on how this year went; how my expectations were met/not met in all regards to homeschooling. How even though I had felt called to it, I feared it greatly. (As a dear mentor of mine said recently, "making that decision to home school feels like you are making a decision to run and jump off a cliff," .) And yet coming to the end of this first year, I was amazed at just how different it was than I had anticipated.
Don't burn me at the stake home-schoolers , but I had a lot of stereotypes of home-schoolers and well, home school families-moms in particular, prior to being one myself. Keepin it real folks, keepin it real. In my mind, home school moms were the ones who would probably hold a prayer vigil for me if I made a poor parenting choice in their presence. I thought Home school moms are moms who are put together all the time-- me... i throw on dangles earrings to spiff up lasts nights jammies and I wear jeans with holes in them as a fashion statement. So I was pretty sure that by the end of this first year we'd be wearing buns and long skirts , which we would have made ourselves.. not knocking anyone who makes their own clothes (my kids are sizes 6T, 4T and 2T-knock yourself out! I'll pay shipping costs). But its safe to say that my sewing machine is safely stored away in the garage with little to partially no use of how to even set it up to sew anything ;-) (although I do hope to master it some day).
So I had these ideas of what homeschooling people looked like, acted like, and yet I felt God over and over (seriously, over and over..and over again) was nudging me in that direction. So I dove in and "interviewed" a few amazing ladies on the topic .To be honest, deep down I was hoping they would say something that would dissuade me in my thought process on the topic, but with each encounter, their words affirmed more and more what I was thinking and feeling. Yet until I stepped in the role myself as "teacher," I dont' think I could have possibly imagined what that story would look like for myself or my kids.
Let me start off to make myself clear on something, I AM NOT AGAINST PUBLIC SCHOOLING. Just in case you missed that, I AM NOT AGAINST PUBLIC SCHOOLING. so save the rumors for someone else :-) Are their home school parents who are, of course; are their public school parents against homeschooling, of course. I hold tightly to the fact that I felt God put this on MY heart for MY family. I lay on the side of the fence that believes this is something each family decides for themselves, through lots of prayer, thought, discussion and more prayer. As I was fighting through this decision (aka, jumping off a cliff) my dear friend reminded me "Kat, whatever you decide, your kids are in the hands of our mighty God whether they are in public/private or home school. Picking one or the other doesn't change that." Yes they are :-) Whew!
I had a lot of misconceptions, stereotypes, QUESTIONS, CONCERNS, regarding home school when I was simply entertaining the idea of it. Now that I am a pro with ONE whopping year under my belt (boo ya), ;-) , I thought, heck, maybe there are a few of ya'll out there with similar thoughts. Maybe there are women out there who are entertaining the idea too, but maybe too nervous to ask, or too fearful of what that process even looks like!! So I wanted to process for your sake and mine, what my first year of homeschooling looked like and how it changed my perception on the topic. Buckle up, you're in for a ride full of high water pants, jk, although my daughters do struggle with this due to their height-and it kills me.. so we opt for leggings ;-)
WHAT WILL PEOPLE THINK?
lets be honest... we value the thoughts and opinions of those around us-especially those close to heart.
It WAS scary to even admit to those closest to me that I was planning on homeschooling. in my mind it went like this "I'm homeschooling." What I believed other people heard, "I am willfully choosing to make my children as anti-social , and socially awkward as possible. I have no teaching degree, so I'm just going to take a swing at this and hope it goes for the best (fingers crossed- wink wink)." LOL. To my surprise I was mostly met with support. I'm sure, if anyone was like me, they probably thougth I was a little "out" there for considering this; But this is what God continually spoke to me during this beginning process, and I hope you can apply it for yourself if needed : EAR PLUGS! I had to continually place mental ear plugs in to block out any voices other than God's- Everyone, including myself, has opinions, and will be happy to share them-solicited or not ;-) . The best advice I got from Godly women was "don't take my opinion on this; just keep seeking God in this and no one else. Let his voice and his will direct you." When I did that, my peace abounded, my fears relieved. We live in a LOUD world. Sometimes the only way for me to hear God is to turn down the volume so only his voice I hear. This obviously applies to any situation, seek Godly council, and always follow God s leading above anyone else's. It is only through following God's will and desire for our lives that we find rest:
"This is what the Lord says:Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, Godly way and and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your soul." Jeremiah 6:16
So... I jumped off the cliff. We started homeschooling in October . Hayden was in an amazing school (no seriously, amazing...) . So why pull her then Kat? Literally it was such a crazy hard decision. I loved the school, loved her teacher (who I know from church).... hard hard decision. But what it came down to, was I had an overwhelming tug from God that the plan for my family was home school. So we took that leap of faith. It was a bittersweet day. There was a huge part that was bummed for Hayden, for myself. I loved her school, the classroom, the kids. And yet still, a peace from God. That he had a different path for my family. Almost an eagerness to see what his plan would unwrap for us.
I've had multiple people say to me "oh, that's awesome you can do that, I just am not cut out for it." I explain it to them like this: before you had your first baby, the thought of caring for and tending to another person 24/7 can be overwhelming-having never experienced it yourself. And then you have the baby.. and well, you just DO it! You just take care of them, and love them. Same went for our schooling decision. The day i took her out of the school she was in , I had to step up and do it. No other option. I just do it.
Over the course of the last year I slowly let go of the idea that I had set up for myself, that I'm not qualified to do this. Yes I have a bachelors degree...in Psychology. Don't judge, but well, you can judge me on this... I didn't remember the difference between a long vowel or short vowel.. what?!!! But Guess who knows both of those now? Hayden and MOM! The point, its kindergarten. Its been a year of introducing small scale topics, at a fun pace, with lots of field trips. I can proudly say, my child , after a year of schooling at home, is doing profoundly well. Her reading is great, robotic at times, but I've never been more excited for my child to say "mom, that's Spr-outs.. sprouts farmers m-ar-ket." yes baby, yes baby it is! Insert fist pump. I'm learning, and above all believing, I am-with Gods leading, cut out for this. I love this quote I found:
"Children don't need to be taught how to learn; they are born learners. They come out of the womb interacting with and exploring their surroundings. Babies are active learners, their burning curiosity motivating them to learn how the world works. And if they are given a safe, supportive environment, they will continue to learn hungrily and naturally-in the manner and at the speed that suits them best." -Wendy Priesuitz.
I have no idea who Wendy Priesuiz is, or what her manner of schooling is, but I have found this to be true this past year. And I don't mean this to be true in the capacity that my kid was "unthriving" (is that a word? probably not) at her past school.. absolutely not!! I just mean, I realized she will be able to thrive at home too! I don't have to worry for the years to come about her ability to learn, or my ability to assist her in that process. Its been so fun to learn right alongside her, and experiencing first hand her excitement over a topic. her little aha face when she finally gets something that maybe took a few weeks longer than I thought it might-these moments make it worth it.
My last fear to be relieved, the dreaded....dun dun dun duuuunnn... socialization. That was the "s" word prior to beginning homeschooling, and even a few months in. I mean, lets be honest, how do you socialize your child if they are not in a "social" environment? What if they grow into kids that have no idea how to relate with society? What if they are socially awkward? My conclusion: to be determined. check back with me in 13 years.. j/k. I realized in this past year I can make our schooling as social or unsocial as I want. I'm a social butterfly, so is Hayden. It has been a blessing the relationships I have made, as well as Hayden during this process. Play dates often, sports practice. I think she might have a more booked schedule than me. The point: I'm not worried at all about the "s" word anymore. However I am worried about the "b" word, booty head, that has ever so wonderfully made its debut as the most active word out of my two older children's mouths these days. Or the word butler.. BUTT-ler as they like to refer to it as.
So what have I learned this past year? That God has mighty plans for us, and mighty blessings that come from being obedient to following his leading. So if his plan for your family is public school, then follow him there obediently, knowing blessings and adventures wait ahead! If its home school, know the same. All I know is that it felt so easy in the early stages of these decisions to run from what I felt God was asking of me. It didn't fit with what most my friends were doing;what most of society was doing.. or what I even every thought I myself would be doing. But I would have missed out on some amazing gifts and experiences he had in store for my family if I hadn't put my ear plugs in.
So to wrap up (no body likes a craaazy long blog.. I personally always look at the scroll bar: if its big, I'll read away... tiny- is there a cliff notes version somewhere?) If homeschooling is something you are pondering, but don't know where to start, or are fearful of what it even looks like, I would hate for you to pass up such an awesome opportunity without ever having had the chance to even explore if its something that would fit well with you. Thus, I would love to chat, or answer any questions: what my day looks like, etc! But above all, pray. And trust. And rest, that where ever your child is, whatever route you choose, your child is in the hands of a God who has mighty plans for him/her wherever they are! How exciting is that?!
Much love,
from your dangle earring, ripped jeans momma,
Kat
6 years ago
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